Hello there, 

Yesterday, during my session with my therapist, I actually talked about the issues that has been bothering me. Issues that has made me who I am today. It came so naturally that we both were shocked (And kinda glad) that these issues came up. I opened up a little more to her I guess. 

After everything, before the 10 minutes was up, she paused and asked me,

Eunice, do you feel that after all that you have been through, do you have trouble looking for a romantic partner? 

I responded quite fast - I am not looking for a romantic partner at the moment. 

She said,

Do you see yourself with kids? 

I replied, I don't know. I don't think so. Somehow, when I responded, I choked a little. 

Of course, she caught it and said, 

I can see that you are having a hard time responding. I think you do want to have a family but you are afraid of how things would turn out.

I know those words. It has been said before by people who knew what happen and also it's not the first time I question my decisions making in finding for a romantic partner. It's one of those reasons why I am talking to a therapist anyway I guess (Although that was not part of my main goals). 

Tonight, while reading Manga titled Freaking Romance, I teared up. 

"Broken kids gravitate to one another. Sadly.. not all broken kids turn out fine. The same broken piece you attract, might be the one who cuts your wounds deeper." 

And it makes me wonder, what if.. just what if.. I am the broken piece that cuts..

Ah well - night thoughts. 

Goodnight. 

xoxo,

eunicegm