heey there.

it's been a while huh?

my fingers are rusty now as they do their job in here.

you may think i miss blogging, but surprising, i don't.

i felt that there are just too many things taking place in my life now. it's not opportunities that came falling in my lap or things like that but the bad things. yup.

depression, homework, people around me, the life that i am living. i just felt so restless and useless at times? it's like things are just not the way it should be and something should change but i just don't know what it is.

i am clearly still finding for it but i think it gets better each day? i am trying to live a normal life and yet i don't know what a normal life is.

there are millions of people out there who lived a "normal life" by cutting themselves up, putting them into spots where people never notice them or even forcing themselves to push out whatever they had eaten.

there's also people who think that doing sports, studying real hard for the exams, trying to get a good job, find a good spouse and get cute little children is normal. is that normal?

tell me, what is normal?

i seems to be losing myself in this sense. what is normal?

there are so many things that need to be answer to, there's so many things that need to be watch over and taken care of.there's people feelings that need to be care for or else you might wake up losing these people. there are just so many things need to be done and yet, i just can't move.

i wonder, what am i doing to my life? is it the right thing? am i doing the right thing? if yes, why don't i feel good about it then? what went wrong? what is missing?

and, someone close to me just passed away. life is just too short but what can i do to make this life meaningful?

get out of bed and help people who need help? or travel around the world? what is right?

just let me gather my thoughts for these few months and just let me climb up back to the social life. slowly. but i think i will get there.

xoxo,
eunice gm.

sorry for the late night rant.